About two weeks ago my 14 year old Little Brother (LB) needed money for a school trip. We sat and talked for awhile about the situation and why there was no money available at his house to pay for something like this. His grandmother and her boyfriend have never worked in the 3 years I have known them. The money in the home comes from State and Federal support mainly for the two grandchildren. I told my LB that our relationship is not going to be about money and that if he needed the money for the trip i would give it to him under the promise that he would earn enough to pay me back by Halloween. My goal is to encourage him to work for his money and make good on a promise. Last night the grandmother called to tell me she needed $618 to pay the electric bill or the power company would turn it off in two days. In 3 years I have been asked for a lilttle here or there but never a big number like this. THE ROCK-- So I told her, after sleeping on it, that I would help talk to the power company if she wanted but I could not give the money. The HARD PLACE--I have the money and my LB will likely be without power on Wednesday.
I have learned over the last few years about my prejudice while in relationship with a young man who's mother is white and father is black. I am not racist but I do apparently have an issue with people who I perceive to be economic takers rather than contributors. It comes up for me in subtle ways but this situation leaves me feeling conflicted, fearful for my LB, and wondering--How does one help someone who won't help themselves?
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