Dying With Class and Leaking Oil

If everything goes as planned and you have a chance to do something like this at the end of life--WOW--what a way to go.  We have witnessed many families beautiful endings with loved ones.  If you choose to click on the video link below then you can see one families story.

A Beautiful Death - Consumer Reports Online

web.consumerreports.org/endoflife.htm

The harder situation is one we are seeing more often by the day and that is where a person starts "Leaking Oil" in a cognitive sense.  Just yesterday I was sent this by a daughter whose mother is moving rapidly into dementia.  She said--
"You said you were insistent not to ever go to a nursing home.  I have always thought the same, but now realize that it might not be my decision.  (Although I don't have a daughter to make the decision for me.)  What is your plan to keep it from happening?  I know it is possible to get someone in the house all the time, but in all truth, that did not seem the best option for Mother, simply because it is so isolating, and she is so social.  At least, that's what I thought.  As I walk down the nursing home aisles, I'm pretty sure most people really don't want to be there.  So alternatives?!  I'm honestly interested in your suggestions."

How can I MAKE SURE I never go to a nursing home?  I guess in the event of an accident, stroke or the like where there is sudden loss of capacity (unlike the video BTW) my Healthcare Powers of Attorney designates should be well informed of my wishes AND empowered to administer those wishes aggressively within the laws of the state in which I live or even possibly move me to a place more compatible with my wishes.  

THE most important thing for me is to be VERY clear on my wishes and to select someone who will help enforce those upon a sometimes reluctant healthcare and legal system.  I should also make sure that person or persons can use my money to support my wishes too.  

One other component of this is that the earlier in the slide one notices a loved one or themselves "Leaking Oil"--the better off everyone is to take action in a loving way much like the video.  This is hard stuff but just like the video I think most of the tears were ones out of love and appreciation for the passing loved one NOT ones of regret or incompletions.  

https://www.compassionandchoices.org/ is a website that goes with the picture above.  It can be a great tool to help one make choices like the ones we are in the middle of in this post.  How do you want to go out?